summaryrefslogtreecommitdiff
path: root/data/rbot/plugins/insult.rb
blob: 993450a554e9204ec4877fbd450d9eac5662b9a1 (plain)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
class InsultPlugin < Plugin

## insults courtesy of http://insulthost.colorado.edu/

##
# Adjectives
##
@@adj = [
"acidic",
"antique",
"contemptible",
"culturally-unsound",
"despicable",
"evil",
"fermented",
"festering",
"foul",
"fulminating",
"humid",
"impure",
"inept",
"inferior",
"industrial",
"left-over",
"low-quality",
"malodorous",
"off-color",
"penguin-molesting",
"petrified",
"pointy-nosed",
"salty",
"sausage-snorfling",
"tastless",
"tempestuous",
"tepid",
"tofu-nibbling",
"unintelligent",
"unoriginal",
"uninspiring",
"weasel-smelling",
"wretched",
"spam-sucking",
"egg-sucking",
"decayed",
"halfbaked",
"infected",
"squishy",
"porous",
"pickled",
"coughed-up",
"thick",
"vapid",
"hacked-up",
"unmuzzled",
"bawdy",
"vain",
"lumpish",
"churlish",
"fobbing",
"rank",
"craven",
"puking",
"jarring",
"fly-bitten",
"pox-marked",
"fen-sucked",
"spongy",
"droning",
"gleeking",
"warped",
"currish",
"milk-livered",
"surly",
"mammering",
"ill-borne",
"beef-witted",
"tickle-brained",
"half-faced",
"headless",
"wayward",
"rump-fed",
"onion-eyed",
"beslubbering",
"villainous",
"lewd-minded",
"cockered",
"full-gorged",
"rude-snouted",
"crook-pated",
"pribbling",
"dread-bolted",
"fool-born",
"puny",
"fawning",
"sheep-biting",
"dankish",
"goatish",
"weather-bitten",
"knotty-pated",
"malt-wormy",
"saucyspleened",
"motley-mind",
"it-fowling",
"vassal-willed",
"loggerheaded",
"clapper-clawed",
"frothy",
"ruttish",
"clouted",
"common-kissing",
"pignutted",
"folly-fallen",
"plume-plucked",
"flap-mouthed",
"swag-bellied",
"dizzy-eyed",
"gorbellied",
"weedy",
"reeky",
"measled",
"spur-galled",
"mangled",
"impertinent",
"bootless",
"toad-spotted",
"hasty-witted",
"horn-beat",
"yeasty",
"boil-brained",
"tottering",
"hedge-born",
"hugger-muggered",
"elf-skinned",
]

##
# Amounts
##
@@amt = [
"accumulation",
"bucket",
"coagulation",
"enema-bucketful",
"gob",
"half-mouthful",
"heap",
"mass",
"mound",
"petrification",
"pile",
"puddle",
"stack",
"thimbleful",
"tongueful",
"ooze",
"quart",
"bag",
"plate",
"ass-full",
"assload",
]

##
# Objects
##
@@noun = [
"bat toenails",
"bug spit",
"cat hair",
"chicken piss",
"dog vomit",
"dung",
"fat-woman's stomach-bile",
"fish heads",
"guano",
"gunk",
"pond scum",
"rat retch",
"red dye number-9",
"Sun IPC manuals",
"waffle-house grits",
"yoo-hoo",
"dog balls",
"seagull puke",
"cat bladders",
"pus",
"urine samples",
"squirrel guts",
"snake assholes",
"snake bait",
"buzzard gizzards",
"cat-hair-balls",
"rat-farts",
"pods",
"armadillo snouts",
"entrails",
"snake snot",
"eel ooze",
"slurpee-backwash",
"toxic waste",
"Stimpy-drool",
"poopy",
"poop",
"craptacular carpet droppings",
"jizzum",
"cold sores",
"anal warts",
]

  def help(plugin, topic="")
    return "[msg]insult me|<person> => insult you or <person>. msginsult insults in private"
  end

  def insult(m, params)
    who = params[:who]
    who = m.sourcenick if ["me", @bot.nick].include?(who)

    priv = params[:priv] || m.plugin == "msginsult"

    case who
    when /^#/
      prefix = "you are all "
    when m.sourcenick
      prefix = "you are "
    else
      prefix = priv ? "you are " : "#{who} is "
    end

    suffix = ""

    if priv
      msgto = who
      suffix = " (from #{m.sourcenick})" unless who == m.sourcenick
    else
      msgto = m.channel
    end

    insult = generate_insult
    @bot.say msgto, prefix + insult + suffix
  end

  def generate_insult
    adj = @@adj.pick_one
    adj2 = ""
    loop do
      adj2 = @@adj.pick_one
      break if adj2 != adj
    end
    amt = @@amt.pick_one
    noun = @@noun.pick_one
    start = "a "
    start = "an " if ['a','e','i','o','u'].include?(adj[0,1])
    "#{start}#{adj} #{amt} of #{adj2} #{noun}"
  end
end

plugin = InsultPlugin.new
plugin.map "insult :who [:priv]", :action => :insult, :requirements => { :priv => /in private/ }
plugin.map "msginsult :who", :action => :insult